Well hello friends! I bet you were beginning to think Mr. Fixer and Mrs. Fab ran off to live in a new house, didn’t you?! (Believe me, the thought crosses my mind from time to time…) Alas, that is not the case! We are still plugging away on our little project, it is just that life has a funny way of sneaking in and messing up your blog-writing plans.
I know many of you can relate to this season of life right now. You got fired (okay, maybe that’s just me); you are going through a breakup/divorce; you are dealing with the death of a loved one; your child is diagnosed with a condition you have no control over; your best friend is heading down a destructive path; and so on [insert life’s curveball here]. For Mr. Fixer and me, our curveball came screaming in at high speed last Monday when my doctor told me that I had miscarried our very first baby.
For most anyone going through a difficult situation like this, one of the hardest things is beginning to spread the awkward news. Mom and Dad, I need a place to stay for awhile until I find my own place… Daughter or Son, Grandpa was just admitted to the hospital and they say he’s not going to make it… Friends and Family, that adorable baby announcement we just made… just kidding.
And then of course come the equally awkward responses. What do you say in situations like these? What do you say to someone in the throes of a grief that you oftentimes cannot relate to? In our most recent experience of miscarriage, one of the most common things I heard was, “It is actually really common, people just don’t talk about it.” But as I think about these words and reflect on their truth, I realize this is true about most any hard situation, not just miscarriage.
Why this is true, I am not quite sure. I can surmise, certainly. We are embarrassed. We don’t want to relive the experience every time we tell someone. We don’t think anyone will understand. The reasons could go on and on. Well, friends, I am here to offer this humble suggestion: just do it! Whatever your “it” might be, grab it by the reigns with a firm grip and own it! Start the conversation. Because you know what will happen? A line will start forming behind you. And then all that embarrassment, awkwardness, loneliness, and grief will start to diminish. People will look each other in the eye and say, “I’ve gone through this, too. And I’m okay.” Or they might say, “You know what, I have no idea what this is like, but I am going to be here for you every step of the way.” Let’s stop the cycle of not sharing our common human experiences!
So, I guess this is me starting the conversation. Miscarriage is an incredibly heartbreaking thing to experience. It has left me sad, discouraged, angry, and with lots of questions. But this is not the end of the story, my friends. I also have an incredible amount of thankfulness and hope stored up inside me, as well. I have an amazing group of supportive and loving family and friends. I have the gift of overall health and vitality. I have food to eat and warm clothes to wear. I have blue skies and sunshine in the middle of dreary winter days. And I have hope. Mounds and mounds of hope! For I know that I have a faithful Father wanting to bestow upon me wonderful gifts. Gifts that I cannot even fathom! And I know that this same Father is always going to be at the front of my line, knowing my heart and enlisting His Son to carry my burdens.
Friends, if you are experiencing a tough time, please know that I too am in line to offer you support and love. Whatever it is you are going through, you are not alone. Start the conversation.
With many hugs,
I will sing the LORD’s praise, for he has been good to me. Psalm 13:6
And what’s a blog post without some pictures! The week of New Year’s day, Mr. Fixer took some time off and my mom and her husband came down to assist with putting in our giant new beams. Thanks, guys! We couldn’t have done it without you! 🙂